Milk and Curd

It's Mothers’ Day, in this year. I wonder what would be the very reason for this day, what would have made somebody thought to mark a day in a year for Mother.

I dnt care to find that story, but I am worried that on this day, I am not with that special person. That’s for various reasons and I completely own the responsibility. As I duly say to myself, many times, if there is anyone who can stop you, it’s just you. So, this again, happened as I dnt made enough plans to be with her.

Many a time, I argue with myself if I need to mark & park a day, to shower all that love and care, on her. Am I not blessed with enough time, to say in few words every day, how much she mean to me?

All those estimations and planning in my profession, taught me enough maths to steal few minutes in a day, so I can make her happy hearing to me.

That reminds me of one silly yet memorable incident happened, during my early school days.

Those were days, when I had just started my first years at school. I still remember those initial classes about numbers, colours and learning some small and key words. As I started to see too many alphabets together, I started to get lost wondering why they would be together anyways. But, that’s how words are formed, like Apple or Rainbow etc.

I was good at every damn word that’s said in class except for one word, Mathematics. I failed to say the correct spelling for that word, which made me loose the winner of all-correct answers prize. By the end of day, I was not much worried as things and friends around me, made that lose to sit back in my mind.

But, those results made my mom to suggest the simplest way, on how to say the correct spell. I can’t say for sure, if that’s the simplest ever in this world but her one suggestion made me to remember it, even today.

What she said, goes like this.

HE put MAT and MAT together, so its like MAT-HE-MAT

Imagine that, you see when HE is doing it, so you say as ‘I SEE, YES’ which is “ICS”

Now, put all of them together – MAT-HE-MAT-ICS – that’s all.

That made my life so easy as I slowly realised to ‘divide’ everything that looks complex, understand it and then put them together again.

Even a lengthy theorem was never a trouble to me, as I mastered the fact that everything in science is an amalgamation of minute pieces.

That makes me say, about my daring & dashing Dad. I always miss those evenings spent with my Dad. My life is one piece put together, by those two great humans.

As like any other school, I dnt get a chance to escape from Social Studies.Then and even now, I am curious why lessons on Wars are part of Social Studies, what’s so SOCIAL about that. Aren’t WARS an anti-social thing?

Luckily, those bloody battles made me realise what’s so bad & wrong about wars. One day, I noticed the 3 medals proudly put on display, in our showcase and I dared to put my hands on them; those are for my Dad and his name was engraved on them, honouring his brave and bold role in Indo Pak and Indo China wars.

Next day, I spread about that news to every ear in my school and then I was surprised as all most all of my teachers & staff knew my Dad and his heroics. That boosted my confidence a lot, I am proud to be an Army Man’s son.

My Dad had spent most of his evenings with me, since then. He is so good in story-telling that everything he says, looks just like happening before eyes.

He shared all the black & white days of his Army life, including the days when he and few other solders were kept inside an 10 /10 feet tunnel for 3 days and they never saw the light except for few minutes, when they (Chinz) throwed food packets inside to eat. When he was saying that incident, he was able to recollect the moment when they started to worry if ever the Indian soldiers would find them, buried in that way, under the ground.

Its not just wars, he shared many things from his life, for hours and hours. The best part I always like is about how he won my mom, how their baby-love turned into matured relationship and eventually, into marriage.

Whenever I am at home, I never get a thought to step out and meet anyone else. I love the world with my parents, around me. They are always my support for all the craziness in my life. I wonder, if ever I would have achieved anything, if they had not showed all that support.

Had I been so determined and brave to face the life, without them?

I agree, many from my generation are from different schools like boarding schools, residential etc yet they are very much successful in life. I am happy that, everyone is lucky with their own share of happiness.

But the new generation is not so lucky. Today’s kids as old as 12 are busy with touch-screen phones and chats on Facebook. Yes, we should walk as the way the world goes. Its no wrong but to what extent?

All these techie things are turning to be an escape route for parents as they get their kids to get addicted to computer world by the early 8 years old, in name of ‘kids of next generation’.

Today, we love the things in our life more than the life itself.

How many couples enjoy the sweetness of evening together?

Very few parents spend evenings with their family and if they are together, they talk nothing except for the movies, technology and cricket. Of course, studies too.

Its not any shock as television sets are put off not anytime before 11pm any night.

Thanks to ‘digital recording’ facility, no one can miss their favourite serials or cricket if they are away attending any family occasion or a friends marriage.

I love those days, when suddenly power goes off in between the Rangoli program the only show to show the latest hindi movie songs, aired every Friday evenings on DD. Those were really the golden days, where I had all the time in the world to play cricket, swim in ponds, roam and run in paddy crops, hit on bees’ camp in cashew crops, curious watching how milk extracted from buffaloes ...and many more…..

Its not just the technology that’s changing around us but our way of life too.

Are we not worried for the day, when we become complete slaves for the tech pieces around us that we stop being humans?

Very recently, its there in all news papers on why a minister from Karnataka govt was thrown out of his post but he is yet to be punished by law.

That minister was enjoying sex forcefully with his friends’ wife and that friend got the shock of his life, when he stepped into the bed-room, as he is not aware of what’s happening inside.

Usually, any husband in that situation, would turn aggressive and jump onto that guy, throw him out of that room and protect his wife from that humiliation. But I cant get any clue, what exactly made that husband to pull out his camera and take snaps, when he is standing there looking straight at his wife being sexually harassed, in his own bed-room.

Why not his reaction was impulsive and wild? How could he manage to control himself and choose to be smart and not be violent, that he managed to take out this mobile and started to take snaps, while his wife was being crushed with no mercy?

After few weeks (I wonder why they waited so long) that couple came out into media for justice and those snaps from the husbands’ mobile were out on front pages all over.

No surprise, this would go on for a while now in courts, before the law decides who is on fair side and who will sit on dark side.

That incident makes me ask, are we not aggressive in love any more?

Are we not possessive about the most important relationship in life, marriage?

Where is that one person, who can stand and support your whole life, whenever you loose strength to take one more step in Life?

Recently, I laughed madly while reading the ‘special’ case study ‘hum do aur hamare do: Us and Our Careers’ published on TOI Saturday edition. Its about the nation wide survey, sort of case-study to understand how individual careers are adding space, distance between couples. It also published about few couples who managed to control the distance between them yet able to do well in their own careers.

Are they not supposed to fight out with world and not between them? Why would they plan to control the distance between them, when they ought to kill any little distance between them.

There is one such couple, who met only for trice in last year, as both of them were busy with their careers, one in Pune and the other in Dubai.

Yet they are happy with each other as the latest tech items like video chat, regular text messages and late-night-lengthy phone calls help them, to be together.

If I were there near them, my sure question for them would be “had you both not promised to stay together, not matter whatever happens in life during your marriage ceremony?”

That makes me say, marriage is not a convenient option for social comforts.

Are we not ready for marriages any more?

So in all this latest tech jungle and being-into-next generation, had we lost that one person who will always be with you to wipe your tears?

Where is that big hearted person, who can bring down the moon for just one of your smile?

Where is that one crazy person, who believes in you blindly that no matter whatever happens, Love on you does not shrink a little.

Does that person does not exist anymore?

Does he/she does not born anymore, in these generations?

Is that person happens to be seen only in movies?

Everyday morning, when I walk into my cubicle, I make sure that I try my best to watch everyone on floor. Not because that I want to see how colourful they are on that day but only for the reason that I am here today to share my time with you all.

I am matured enough to understand, Life is not meant to live alone, for anyone. Down all these years, I lived a lot of memorable moments but all that happened only because, I choose to live with those whom I love and not with machines.

From the baby foot days, our mother supports on every shade in our Life. At some place, we meet strangers and few among them, turn into our best friends. While one person, swings our feet away and becomes life-sharing partner. But when I look around now, I wonder if we are living our Life with right balance of share & support – Love and Life mixed well.

With IT turning out to be monster in our lives, we are now attached more to text than the actions of love and affection in relationships.

While the day starts at 5.30AM to remind us that we ought to start our outer life for next 10 to 12 hours. So everyday, breakfast at office, is just an excuse to chat with friends, while we eat lunch with a person who is not a husband / wife or does not mean any relationship.

With all this, we end up spending the most valuable time of Life, the 20s and 30s with people who are complete strangers initially but slowly turn into moral / mental or few other ways of support in Life, which we know for sure that those relationships are just born for comfort and luxury, in various means and not anything else.

But, who cares?

We know, everyone is as white as like milk and tastier as like curd.

Today, we have special friends at office to kill time and close friends to talk on phone. No matter, what’s the true intimacy in such friendships is but we crave for those special attentions every day.

How else, we would be able to survive the 10-12 hours battle in office.

We are humans, after all.

Yes, we are humans but we are more customised now. We know that every truth cant be shared and every false is not a mistake.

Totally agreed that every friendship is unique in the own way, it is made. That’s the reason, why the third person can never understand the warmness shared between two friends.

Do we take marriage as one plate where this special friendship occupies the sweet corner every time?

Long long ago, I heard a line as ‘a girl is lucky if her husband is her best friend’ but I guess, there is some more to add for that as “never let your husband know about your all other best friends”

And for husbands, I heard as “the best way to win your wife’s heart is by being her best friend” which will now end as “never let your wife know that you won many more hearts, than just hers”.

No matter whatever it is about, we are now moving into deep dark world of new shades of Love. The purest emotion ‘Love’ is now the subject for reality shows to make money. Have we lost that wild passion in Love?

We are now in world where, Birthdays are celebrated between cubicle-walls and anniversaries are spent in restaurants.

We have grown so weak that we are always on hunt to find reasons so to turn them into celebrations. In all this long development, we lost the very reason of how and why the celebrations are part of life.

Will this society can ever turn back to be mature and brave again and does not spoil the true essence of Love with the social relationships?